Who Will Be the Model?

I talk about shibari a lot, and show a lot of it too. Lectures, labs, open sessions, photo shoots… And a question keeps coming up: “Who will be the model?”

It’s a reasonable question. For me, too, it matters very much who I’ll be working with. The particular person changes everything: the pace, the attention, the possibilities, the conversation that happens through rope.

But sometimes I hear something else in that question: “Oh, I’ve already seen her. Let’s have someone new.”

Maybe I’m mistaken. Some people simply want to know who’s taking part. Others come to see a particular person. Still, that undertone makes me wonder… What exactly are we expecting to be new?

For me, every session is new by definition. Even with the same partner.

We already know something about each other. We remember reactions, habits, previous encounters. But today our mood, physical state, and attention are different. We might linger somewhere, or try something another way. Even a familiar movement can receive a very different response.

And familiarity sometimes lets us notice more. When we don’t have to work out every little thing from scratch, there’s room to explore something we never reached before. I enjoy returning to a person and discovering how much we still don’t know about each other.

A new face can certainly be interesting. But a familiar face tells you very little about what’s about to happen. Seeing someone once doesn’t mean you’ve seen everything that can happen between us.

There, a little philosophising… For me, a session’s interest begins with who’s beside me, and continues with what we might discover together today.

What makes a session new for you? And what are you hoping to learn when you ask, “Who will be the model?”