Silence Lili. Friends First
Silence Lili and I have known each other for a long time. We became friends first; only later did the aesthetics of shibari become part of that friendship... ropes, shapes, photographs. I like that order. The person in front of the camera is someone I have known far longer than we have been taking photographs together. And even so, I still notice something new in her.
Being photographed is difficult for her, and she does not like the process. But she likes the photographs. This is how she explained it: “It is not really a contradiction. I have figured it out: you photograph me when I am not in control. I have no control over the result. I am in a session, my thoughts are quiet, and I do not care about the camera. I am simply inside the experience.”
This gallery brings together different encounters. The light, background, dress and position of the body change. Sometimes I look at the whole shape; sometimes I stay with the hands, the turn of a shoulder, or the loose end of a rope. Her face is often outside the frame or hidden by her hair. And still, for me, each photograph remains a portrait of Silence Lili.
There is another detail in her post that matters to me: each time, she is a little less afraid of being photographed, and she looks forward to seeing the pictures. I will leave her words here:
“Each time, I am a little less afraid of being photographed, and I look forward to seeing the pictures.”
Model: Silence Lili
Photography: Roman / Ded Mazai
In the mirror on the left, you can see me with the camera. Usually my part of this story stays out of frame, but here we both ended up in the same photograph. Silence Lili has her own turn; I have my own way of seeing it. The mirror suddenly reminds me that this image is made between two people.
Model: Silence Lili
Photography: Roman / Ded Mazai
From behind, the suspension gathers into a compact shape: shoulders, hands, a bent leg, feet, and ropes stretching upward. The light background leaves enough space around it. I could stay with the way one line leads into the next... and still I return to the shoulders, and to how close her hands have come to them.
Model: Silence Lili
Photography: Roman / Ded Mazai
Here the body stretches along one diagonal, the arm in another direction, while the ropes continue in almost straight lines. Her hair hides her face. I wonder how much you can see in this turn without a single glance toward the camera: weight, direction, curve, the distance between hand and foot. All of that can tell us something about a person.
Model: Silence Lili
Photography: Roman / Ded Mazai
I like this pause in the air... The figure is almost horizontal, her head lowered, her hair continuing the movement downward. In the photograph everything has stopped, and you can look at the shape for as long as you like. But there is still a living person inside that stillness. I try to remember that, even when I get carried away by the lines.
Model: Silence Lili
Photography: Roman / Ded Mazai
Against the dark wall, the whole frame changes. Its texture comes close to the body, the dress partly disappears into shadow, and the light on her leg draws my eye to the right. I like this meeting of a rough surface, soft folds of fabric, and ropes running through the whole image from top to bottom.
Model: Silence Lili
Photography: Roman / Ded Mazai
Another turn, and almost all that remains of the figure is a sign: a long diagonal of a leg, a bent knee, vertical ropes. Her face is out of sight, and it takes a moment to see the whole body, too. I like that small delay... first you notice the shape, then begin to work out how it came together.
Model: Silence Lili
Photography: Roman / Ded Mazai
I chose this photograph on the floor to close the gallery. Her head is bowed, her hair hides her face, and the rope remains in her hands. After all the diagonals and suspensions, I want to pause here for a moment. Add nothing to this photograph... just look at Silence Lili and the way she holds the loose ends.
Model: Silence Lili
Photography: Roman / Ded Mazai
Here I move closer, and her face stays outside the frame. My attention gathers around her hands, the folds of the black dress, and the rope: sometimes laid in neat rows, sometimes trailing freely to the floor. Then my eye stops at her fingers... Such a small gesture, and without it the photograph would be entirely different.